The big news in golf this week was the announcement of Hank Haney’s forthcoming book about his days coaching Tiger Woods, titled The Big Miss. Haney has refused to discuss any details about the contents before its March 27 release, but your oh-so-connected blogger snagged a copy – and was shocked by what’s inside.
Here are the top 10 secrets Haney’s book reveals:
1. In addition to a broken leg and torn knee ligaments, Woods won the 2008 U.S. Open with a nasty case of the blahs.
2. The real cause of those injuries: Tiger’s former coach, Butch Harmon, hired Tonya Harding to whack Woods in the shin.
3. The public knows about Woods’ many mistresses, but Tiger nursed an unrequited crush on Betty White.
4. The key to Woods’ immense power: Eats all his veggies like a big boy.
5. Tiger insisted that Haney serenade him with “Simply the Best” to start every practice session.
6. Elin didn’t divorce Tiger because of his infidelities. It was his chronic halitosis.
7. Whenever Woods’ father Earl was around, Haney referred to Tiger as “Mr. Chosen One.”
8. In 2004 Woods briefly switched to playing left-handed, just to tick off Phil Mickelson.
9. Tiger can’t break 100 on his own EA Sports video game.
10. Haney’s Golf Channel pupil Rush Limbaugh is, indeed, a big fat idiot.